


A rough wind

by CosMoe



Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25995406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosMoe/pseuds/CosMoe
Summary: Astrid, Astrid, it's all about Astrid!She's apparently perfect and everyone loves her.Why can't the riders notice, how hard Ruffnut is trying and how badly she wants to be seen, just for once?
Relationships: Ruffnut Thorston & Tuffnut Thorston
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	A rough wind

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning:  
> I describe eating disorders and mental health issues.
> 
> If you feel triggered or uncomfortable with that I recommand to leave here.

Tuffnut cowered in the corner of his bed, the index fingers stuck to his ears, knees pulled up to his chest.

Only few yards away he still could hear Ruffnut through the window and the sounds she was making made him feel bad.

Once she was done, she came back to their hut, scooped a handful of water into her face, rinsed her mouth.

Tuffnut didn't dare saying something and in fact, all what could have been said already _was_ said.

"Don't look at me like that!" Ruff hissed and exhaustedly dropped onto her bed, her legs were shaky and her breath was shallow.

Lying on her back Tuff could see her ribs poking through the fabric of her tunic, the hip bones sticking out like little mountains from the gaunt valley of her pelvis.

As she sat up she swayed and clasped one hand to her forehead.

"Oooh, I'm dizzy!" she panted and pressed her eyes shut.

"No wonder..." Tuff mumbled, but Ruff cut him off.

"Don't wanna hear a word from you! Put your own house in order first."

Tuff shrugged and turned away from his twin.

She didn't want to hear how much he cared, how concerned he was, how sad it made him to watch Ruff's decay.

"I just thought before you go puking that fine food you could spare the meals and give'em to me. You also could starve much faster this way. That is what you want, isn't it? Disappear?"

"Oh, fuck you Tuff! I only want to get rid of all the superfluous ballast." 

"Which ballast do you mean? Your skin? Your bones? Your guts? Your arms are sticks covered in silk, Ruffnut. You have hardly enough power to stand." Tuff desperately yelled.

"Astrid has power and she is very skinny! No fat at all!" Ruff grumbled in response.

"Astrid has power because she _eats_! She trains and sleeps and eats, that's why she has so much energy. You're just ruinung yourself! And I am sick and tired of watching!"

Tuff got up, put on his helmet and left the hut.

When has it become that bad with Ruff? Was it his fault because he had called her butt fat? But they had always been insulting each other, how often had Ruff called him a girl, ugly, braindead? Couldn't she take a joke?

Back then on Berk Ruff had given a heck about Astrid. She had been self confident, brave and fierce. And funny, though.

Why did she have to compare to Astrid since they lived on the Edge?

Was it because she didn't get as much attention as Astrid?

For Tuff it was enough to be part of the group. Of course he knew that they would never belong to the core of the riders. The twins were tolerated appendages, as long as they could fly and fight.

And Tuff could. It gave him reason, he felt like a tiny part of a big puzzle, but he made it complete. He made a sense.

Sure, it was hard to be around Astrid.

She was strong, didn't ever give in, she could be rude and often enough she scared him. And although Tuff felt humiliated by her, he admired Astrid. 

He felt hurt when he saw her with Hiccup and knew she would never look at him that way, but it was okay. He could take it. As long as he could numb himself with a little bit of Fishlegs' weed.

Everything was fine just as long as he wouldn't have to feel all these emotions all the time.

Ruff was upset. 

Astrid is so perfect, she is always right, be more like Astrid, blah!

Oh how she hated her body, her shape and posture.

Where were her muscles? Why couldn't she see her muscles? Was there still too much fat covering her abdominals? 

And her silly long face! Some years ago she found herself quite cute, freckled skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, slender, strong and carefree.

Then puberty had hit her and suddenly nothing seemed to fit anymore.

It was unfair! Even Tuff had become quite handsome, but she felt only ugly and incapable.

And no matter how hard she tried, she could never keep up with Astrid.

Everyone had fallen for Astrid! Snotlout, Hiccup ( _her_ Hiccup! She had already considered him cute when anyone else still was making fun of him, even precious Astrid) and even her dumb brother.

Was it her fault that she couldn't think the way Astrid thought? She couldn't be like Astrid, no matter what. 

But she could force her body to obey. Sie could force her body to get rid of all what was disturbing the image of herself.

She could be slim and slithe, determined and disciplined, smart and smothering the urge of being herself.

No one needed her, no one wanted her. And she, Ruffnut Eugene Thorston, would prove the others all were wrong. She only had to ein this fight against herself!


End file.
